I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He passed out mid-signature
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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