well I can't set my house on fire every night
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
