I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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