i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
