I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
two words...techno handjob
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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