there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize