Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
