I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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