Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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