My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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