And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
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He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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