what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
