how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
