right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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