I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Did I show you my penis last night?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
