Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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