I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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