just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
