If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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