your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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