That's when you crack a 10am beer
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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