i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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