if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His hands were made for my vagina.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
