You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
