P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
