i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I understand Curling. That high.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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