Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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