Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia

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  (202): He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia http://tfl.nu/7fa5
  Replies (17) Good night (2165) Bad night (726)
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  (310): View more from California

  i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.

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  (310): i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that. http://tfl.nu/vq6l
  Replies (10) Good night (2674) Bad night (600)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  LETS GO REDSKINS!

  (276): View more from Virginia

  Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.

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  (540): LETS GO REDSKINS! (276): Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday. http://tfl.nu/15rh
  Replies (25) Good night (5286) Bad night (857)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.

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  (207): I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole. http://tfl.nu/al7a
  Replies (16) Good night (835) Bad night (4025)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week

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  (248): You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week http://tfl.nu/vksd
  Replies (5) Good night (4469) Bad night (750)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?

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  (612): Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong? http://tfl.nu/gz8r
  Replies (44) Good night (1569) Bad night (4792)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.

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  (914): It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle. http://tfl.nu/tr9x
  Replies (38) Good night (3275) Bad night (6835)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome

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  (816): we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome http://tfl.nu/vmah
  Replies (77) Good night (6197) Bad night (2011)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.

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  (618): Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I. http://tfl.nu/bxpy
  Replies (5) Good night (3283) Bad night (959)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.

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  (321): I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex. http://tfl.nu/mg10
  Replies (6) Good night (2160) Bad night (822)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.

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  (631): I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion. http://tfl.nu/lz1m
  Replies (6) Good night (1375) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.

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  (859): I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke. http://tfl.nu/mdh7
  Replies (6) Good night (662) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.

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  (651): Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong. http://tfl.nu/nhsj
  Replies (3) Good night (390) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.

  (253): View more from Washington

  You're lovely.

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  (425): Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight. (253): You're lovely. http://tfl.nu/vx83
  Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample

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  (306): apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample http://tfl.nu/rtrx
  Replies (6) Good night (1380) Bad night (329)

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