Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.

(713): View more from Texas

I'm coming over.

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(512): View more from Texas

just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.

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(614): View more from Ohio

So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night

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(623): View more from Arizona

she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

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Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.

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(516): View more from New York

i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.

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(409): View more from Texas

he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock

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(904): View more from Florida

Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.

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