Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Mommy issues

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  (303): I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick. (1-303): Mommy issues http://tfl.nu/pw3k
  Replies (4) Good night (930) Bad night (1830)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..

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  (207): It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted.. http://tfl.nu/j3e7
  Replies (57) Good night (1100) Bad night (16166)
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  (925): View more from California

  Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?

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  (925): Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay? http://tfl.nu/89t2
  Replies (35) Good night (2131) Bad night (5453)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy

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  (920): We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy http://tfl.nu/hjxb
  Replies (31) Good night (5665) Bad night (1241)
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  (760): View more from California

  i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.

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  (760): i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/v98w
  Replies (3) Good night (2240) Bad night (850)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  they won't let me drive with my sombrero

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  (757): they won't let me drive with my sombrero http://tfl.nu/1zde
  Replies (9) Good night (2987) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.

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  (404): It's a bathroom floor kind of morning. http://tfl.nu/13m7
  Replies (5) Good night (2306) Bad night (1106)
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  (760): View more from California

  Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.

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  (760): Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland. http://tfl.nu/5y5k
  Replies (11) Good night (3949) Bad night (674)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My bed is full of blood and feathers

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  (931): My bed is full of blood and feathers http://tfl.nu/0j2w
  Replies (10) Good night (594) Bad night (1422)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.

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  (469): After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend. http://tfl.nu/7v59
  Replies (5) Good night (1274) Bad night (481)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.

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  (330): Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out. http://tfl.nu/uvib
  Replies (7) Good night (994) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2

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  (616): i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool. (616): someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2 http://tfl.nu/9ec4
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.

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  (248): I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious. http://tfl.nu/rvem
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.

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  (802): Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced. http://tfl.nu/wakp
  Replies (2) Good night (328) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far

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  (931): Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far http://tfl.nu/db1u
  Replies (8) Good night (280) Bad night (596)

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