Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
