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• (216): View more from Ohio

  It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (646): View more from New York

  when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.

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• (415): View more from California

  My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours

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• (954): View more from Florida

  "I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.

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