Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
