last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
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I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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