I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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