Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
