Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
