why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
