would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
