its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize