What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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