Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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