We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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