I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
