it hurts more in the daytime
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize