writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
