No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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