My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
