Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
