Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize