Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
