What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
