You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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