Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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