i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
