How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"