Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ew, did you brush them again?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure

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  (301): I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush (703): Ew, did you brush them again? (301): Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure http://tfl.nu/kwwh
  Replies (7) Good night (570) Bad night (1252)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

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  (727): She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek. http://tfl.nu/rrn9
  Replies (117) Good night (3152) Bad night (11925)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.

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  (330): just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months. http://tfl.nu/uiec
  Replies (28) Good night (930) Bad night (5269)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.

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  (617): I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made. http://tfl.nu/enkt
  Replies (8) Good night (1137) Bad night (3423)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.

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  (317): she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know. http://tfl.nu/4052
  Replies (16) Good night (1250) Bad night (5788)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"

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  (905): I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by" http://tfl.nu/6dm5
  Replies (12) Good night (1062) Bad night (2472)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.

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  (617): you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on. http://tfl.nu/kzav
  Replies (4) Good night (1194) Bad night (4871)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression

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  (+44): You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression http://tfl.nu/vpko
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (2985)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She fuckin peed on me

  (817): View more from Texas

  Stay golden ponyboy

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  (757): She fuckin peed on me (817): Stay golden ponyboy http://tfl.nu/vooq
  Replies (17) Good night (4813) Bad night (1126)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.

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  (972): Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit. http://tfl.nu/pnw4
  Replies (9) Good night (2048) Bad night (673)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"

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  (412): Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her" http://tfl.nu/6lbz
  Replies (5) Good night (722) Bad night (385)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"

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  (502): Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights" http://tfl.nu/0e71
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (404)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...

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  (416): Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list... http://tfl.nu/tcm7
  Replies (3) Good night (578) Bad night (355)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.

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  (613): You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night. http://tfl.nu/z5vr
  Replies (1) Good night (1078) Bad night (245)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me

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  (304): My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me http://tfl.nu/flmi
  Replies (4) Good night (589) Bad night (188)

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