I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
