Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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