How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize