dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
