He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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