he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Buhtt sex?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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