I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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