Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..

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(802): View more from Vermont

I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas

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(641): View more from Iowa

You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

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(815): View more from Illinois

This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me

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(406): View more from Montana

You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .

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