There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
