There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
