let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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