oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize