So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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